From buddy cop flicks to Law and Order, you can find evidence of a healthy respect for the law all over the big and small screens. When you’re watching a movie, you have to suspend belief, just for a few hours, to get the full effect. Movies often stretch both reality and the limits of truth. That makes total sense, because movies aren’t real life. We’re watching a dramatization of characters, fictional scenes, and often times, an entire fantasy world.
But if you want to stay out of handcuffs, life shouldn’t imitate art. Anyone who knows anything about the law knows that Hollywood isn’t going to help you pass the bar exam. In fact, movies and television shows are rampant with legal misinformation.
Bet you’ve seen these before
Here are five major movie mistakes that make writers, producers, and directors look pretty dumb:
- The Las Vegas wedding. It doesn’t take five seconds to get married in Vegas. And these marriages are very easily annulled. In movies like What Happens in Vegas, couples get married during a drunken night of debauchery and hijinks. When they sober up, characters will then usually regret tying the knot. Does no one understand that you can get an annulment? If you Google it, an ad pops up for $199 annulment. It’s literally cheaper to get your divorce annulled than it is to get to Vegas in the first place.
- Cops (and lawyers) hate vigilantes. Think about it. Why would the police work with some dope dressed like a bat who operates fully outside the law? It’s true there is sort of a “get things done” mentality about city life, but Gotham City has suffered enough structural damage, blocking up of traffic, and being victim to the whims of super villains that it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense that cops would work with such an outlaw. Superhero movies flout the law; they don’t protect it.
- Courtroom bar brawl. In the 1998 movie Wild Things, students are attempting to press charges against a teacher for sexual advances towards them. While hooking up with a minor is definitely illegal, the courtroom scene in this movie brings disbelief to a whole new level. A bar-style brawl gets started in the courtroom, complete with municipal property damage. People end up in neck braces. While I’ve seen a lot of things happen in a court of law, this scenario is unlikely. There are cops everywhere inside and outside of courtrooms. Starting a fight in court is just plain dumb. (If you ever do end up in a courtroom battle, however, make sure to call an Annapolis criminal defense attorney. You’ll definitely need some help.)
- Extralegal sentencing. In 1990’s Bonfire of the Vanities, the judge sentences everyone in the sprawling case to go home and be decent people Yeah, so, that’s not legally binding. Similarly in the aforementioned What Happens in Vegas, a family law judge (in a different state than the marriage was carried out) sentences the couple to try and live like husband and wife for six months because they’re fighting like children in court. In virtually every case, judges don’t get to make you stay married. Contrary to popular belief, marriage is not the same as a jail sentence.
- Judges filing charges. This one drives lawyers nuts. In countless movies — yes, like Legally Blonde — judges will order the bad guys to be taken into custody and have charges filed against them. Judges don’t have this authority. They cannot file charges. What’s more, they certainly can’t instruct a prosecutor to file charges. That’s super illegal, and a dumb Hollywood mistake.
If you’re disenfranchised with the real legal process and not just the one you see at the movies, call Drew Cochran, Attorney at Law. I work with clients on all sorts of criminal defense issues, and will always give it to you straight — no theatrics necessary. To learn more about the services I provide, call 410-271-1892 or fill out this contact form. If you’re accused of a crime, take a deep breath and remember: Keep Calm – and Call Drew.
