Criminal Defense
What Happens After You Get Arrested?
Pretend for a moment that you are the type of person who commits crimes – a “criminal,” one might say – and after a night of alleged criming, you are caught by the police and arrested. Now what? Well, you’ll be processed and will likely have to spend an initial night in jail, and they…
Read MoreWhat Conduct Constitutes Bank Fraud?
Bank fraud is a federal crime that is prosecuted in federal courts in Maryland. Bank fraud includes a broad range of illegal financial transactions. Generally, it involves illegally using methods to obtain funds or assets held by a financial institution. Bank fraud also includes posing as a financial institution to obtain money from people. In…
Read MoreThere’s a Pandemic. Stop Breathing on Each Other.
COVID-19 is deadly, and it’s airborne. If you’re hacking and coughing on people, they’re gonna get it. If you’re talking to someone and there are “droplets” in the air, you’re gonna get it. It spreads fast and it spreads easily. For these reasons, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, generally recommends that when people…
Read MoreIf It Was Good Enough for Capone….
Wondering if you can get away with not paying your taxes? For the Average Person, the answer is no. You go to prison for that. Federal tax evasion can be committed by individuals, corporations, trusts, and other entities. It generally includes fraud or misrepresentation. It can involve underreporting of income, assets, profits, and gains. It…
Read MoreDesecrating Graves with Dead Animals Isn’t a Good Look
Desecrating a grave is never a good idea. Animal abuse is never a good idea. Combining the two into a single crime isn’t a good look no matter how old you are. And yet, here we are. Mr. Joseph Stroud, 79, has been accused of desecrating the grave of a long-time foe with dead animals…
Read MoreIn Battle with Government Drone, Bald Eagle Comes Away Victorious
I am not what one might call a “bird person.” I don’t hate birds, but they’re not really my thing. Maybe it’s the eyes, or the way their legs are almost always so much longer than you’d expect them to be. But even I think bald eagles are hardcore. The razor sharp talons! The permanent…
Read MoreDumb Criminals Is the Board Game You Didn’t Know You Needed
There have been so many wacky stories about people breaking weird laws or committing strange crimes; heck, we talk about them all the time on this blog. So it was only a matter of time before they got turned into a game, right? You may not be able to choose between the Scottie dog and…
Read MoreTwo Lawyers Walk into a Bar and Lower It
Sometimes lawyers and witnesses say the darndest things. Fortunately, there are court reporters who record all these wonderful exchanges, and listicle-loving websites to share them with the entire world. And since no one loves a good lawyer joke more than I do, I thought I’d pick a few of my favorites from this list created…
Read MoreAnd This Year’s “Worst Criminal Award” Goes To….
Every couple of weeks, I scour the internet and the news looking for little gems to share with you. I try to find a way to relate even the dopiest of crimes to something that might have an actual bearing on your lives, and to let you know that it’s okay to laugh even when…
Read MoreCharged with Speeding? These Excuses May Actually Work
Police are always on the lookout for speeders. Usually, they sit on the side of the road with a radar device to detect how fast you’re going. Once the radar shows a driver is exceeding the speed limit, the driver is likely to be ticketed. Speeding offenses are no day at the beach. Convictions mean…
Read More